Each day is filled with so many fleeting and precious moments that I feel panic at their sheer volume. I torture myself to better record, capture, and memorialize these snapshots of my family. And I fail. My frenzied brain seems to be coated with a non-stick surface that allows too much to slip away. I fear Samuel pays the greater price. Anecdotes of Eleanora dancing through the grocery store, introducing me to her imaginary friend "Quackaquack", or telling me Daddy is her best friend, are easier to capture and recount than the more subtle style of our sweet Samuel.
I want to remember...
the way he kicks his legs with glee every time I reach to pick him up from his crib
the sensation of his hot breath on my neck as he nuzzles up for comfort
his adorable giggle, directed at books, toys, and most often his sister
the way he quickly puts his thumb in his mouth nearly every time I carry him
his sweet voice cooing along while I sing his lullaby
his wriggles of joy as I lay him down to sleep and he finds his beloved stuffed hand, clutches a finger, and begins sucking his thumb
his easy smile brought on by seemingly nothing, that lights up the room
the look of determination and concentration as he propels himself, army-crawl style, toward the singular stone, crumb, or piece of lint that he will invariably attempt to ingest
the twinkle in his brilliant blue eyes when I catch his glance
Samuel is the embodiment of peace and joy, two traits I long for in greater measure. He shows me day after day that being peaceful and joyful is not a state of circumstance, it is a state of mind.